Sunday, August 23, 2015

Body Parts Anonymous

Since moving to Marshall, I have had ample opportunity to recharge by simply staying at home. My introverted nature required it. However, the itch to get out and meet people and experience a life has taken hold and so I joined a local writer's group. I attended my second meeting last week at the library. 
   At each meeting, there is a prompt assigned for the next one. The prompt for last week's meeting was "Body Part." Each member had the opportunity to write something with "Body Part" as the subject. It could be a poem, short story, etc. - whatever the writer is compelled - and then they read it in front of the group.
   I wanted to break out of my dramatic writing shell and go humorous. Here is what I created:


   "Hello. My name is Leg and I am a Body Part."
   "Hi, Leg!"
   The other body parts said it so effortlessly. Many of them had been attending Body Part Anonymous for a long time, each one trying to establish a voice.
   "It is not always easy being a part, another cog in the wheel," continued Leg. "Especially when you feel that you do so much. How can you make yourself known? Get acknowledgement? When you are just a 'part?' I guess that's why I'm here - to be heard among my fellow parts."
   Each body part nodded, understanding what was being said. Leg scanned the room and noticed his neighbor - Foot. He wasn't sure how long she had been attending, but it was not necessarily a pleasant surprise. Leg and Foot had gotten into so many fights over the years. Foot constantly felt walked on by Leg and Leg thought she complained too much.
   And there she is, thought Leg to himself. Staring at me, full of self-righteousness. I wonder what she has said about me. How much of an ass has she turned me into with her shit talk? How much of a martyr has she made herself out to be?
   The other parts continued to stare, waiting for Leg to speak further.
   "I guess one thing I want to express is my feeling of under appreciation," Leg said, his voice becoming firmer. "I mean, if it wasn't for me, no one would go anywhere. And it's because of that that my muscles frequently feel like they're on fire! I have to run up and down steps several times in an hour, multiple times per week. Because Brain thinks I'm too fat"
   Leg did not mean to say that. He did not mean to vomit those words. He felt as gross and reactive as Esophagus.
   Well, can't turn back now, Leg told himself. I've opened the bag. Let's see what else I have stored in there.
   "Do you guys ever . . ."
   "Enough!" Foot jumped up from her chair, breaking protocol in taking turns speaking. "I can't let you continue on this quest of self-importance! I can't let you lead these innocent parts astray while you insult them!"

   "Are you saying they're weak minded?" Leg yelled back. "That they can't handle what I have to say?"
   "NO! I'm saying you're full of egotistical crap! You never see what anyone else is doing! Only what you're doing! If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have anything to stand on!"
   "And if it wasn't for me," Leg retorted. "You would be a worthless flap of a body part!"

   Foot ran toward the podium where Leg was speaking, both of them yelling at each other with increasing vehemence. That is when chaos ensued. Brain, who had been sitting in the back of the room, ran toward Foot and Leg, offended over being drug into the argument. Finger jumped up, eager to point out her view on the matter. Heart broke down, crying over the hostility in the room. Penis quickly stood at attention, excited over the prospect of actual action.
   Pancreas stood up from his chair. "SHUT IT!" he yelled.
   Silence drowned the chaos as every body part turned and regarded Pancreas. "You all elected me the leader of this group because I am usually able to keep everyone on an even keel. And if we cannot get one ounce of civility here, this meeting will be OVER!"
   Leg puffed up. "Leader? You can't lead Appendix to actually matter. If you can't do something as simple as that, maybe we should have a NEW leader!"
   Across the room, parts muttered and nodded in agreement.
   Throwing his hands up, Pancreas asked if this was unanimous. Enough parts nodded that Pancreas began to walk out of the room.
   "Good riddance," muttered Leg as he watched Pancreas' exit. "No one needs a nobody anyway."
   That mutterance, just loud enough to be heard, made Pancreas stop. He turned and faced the rest of the parts, every one of them staring at him. Pancreas regarded the room, smiled and blew a kiss.
   A sparkly substance traveled on the winds of Pancreas' kiss and that substance touched each one of them. The parts began to smile and sweat. Their speech blurred as they began to talk nonsense. Pancreas observed their behavior before each part fell asleep.
   "Enjoy the extra insulin, bitches," whispered Pancreas.

1 comment:

  1. Lol!! This is so amazing!! Beautifully written and I love the little sense of humor!! So awesome!!