Friday, August 1, 2014

Experience You Don't Need: Cheaters

Trust me on this one. The experience of being cheated on sucks. Badly. I, unfortunately, have experienced this more than once and each time was horrible.

   If you haven't gone through this before, good for you! You have made wise choices in significant others! But, let me break it down for you: You discover your significant other is cheating or has cheated. First, some disbelief hits you, followed immediately by feeling someone kicked you in the gut while your heart smashes into the floor at your feet. Tears may or may not start to roll down your face as the humiliation sets in. That is followed by a combination of hurt feelings and anger. You then have a decision to make: try to make it work or let it go.
   If you try to make it work, it will require a lot of it. And, based on my experience, the cheater will do less work than what you do. Because your trust in that person has been destroyed. You will always have a nagging voice in your mind telling you that he or she will do it again. And chances are, that person will. Because you have shown that you are willing to put up with cheating. So, the cheater will show model behavior for a few months, at best, before he or she gives in to lust once again when you are not around.
   The best thing to do is let it go. Because you do not need to experience that all over again. If you decide to stay in that relationship, you have no one to blame but yourself. Kick the cheater to the curb! The trust is damaged beyond repair. It can never be repaired to what it was before.
   People told me this in two previous relationships in which I was cheated on. And I decided to try to make it work. The relationships were never the same. If I thought they were bad before, they were even worse, because my distrust in that person was significant. Why did I do it? To put it bluntly, I was dumb.  There is no other explanation. But, I wish I would have listened to those people and said my permanent good-byes after the first cheating incidents.
   Now, if you honestly believe that the cheater can change, you have more faith than I do. And I might be wrong, but there is a thrill cheaters get from their one-night stands and affairs. It is something forbidden and it gives them a rush, which is something that they desire. But, it could be that maybe a terrible mistake was made and the cheater is one of the rare ones who realize how awful that is to do to another human being.
   If a small part of you thinks that last statement does not apply to your cheater, get rid of him or her. You are worth more! And there are plenty of fish in the sea who will treat you right. And think of how much fun you will have being single again! After the grieving period is over, get out there with your bad self and start fishing! You don't have to fish for "the one" either. You can fish for someone to have a good time with - whatever that good time might entail. Call your friends and tell them that you are free whatever night for whatever plan! Do what you want, because you won't have a cheater holding you back!

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